parenting commitment ceremonies - letting your children know how important they are to you

Heart2heart Ceremonies...for your heart and soul

More on parenting commitment ceremonies

When parents separate, it can be very hard on children. How can two adults lessen the impact of this on their children? If parents can put aside their personal differences and consider the good of the children to be their priority, then they will enter a new relationship with each other after separation - a parenting relationship. Legally, things can get pretty tricky here, as our legal system is designed to be combative rather than conciliatory. It feeds on conflict and creates more conflict. A Parenting Commitment ceremony is a way of affirming the intentions of each parent to act for the good of the children, to let their love for their children guide them in the way they treat each other and the children.Depending on the circumstances, a parenting commitment ceremony can be combined with a separation or divorce ceremony, if appropriate. Or it may be held at another time. A Parenting Commitment ceremony can also be used where a step-parent joins the family, to welcome the new "parenting partner" into the family. And it may be used where a couple or a single person adopts a child or when a child comes to live with you in a guardian situation.
Who participates in a parenting commitment ceremony? Depending on personal circumstances, a parenting commitment may be held with supportive family and friends, with a parent, both parents if there are two parents, or both parents and the new step-parent or new step-parents, together with the children. Or it may be held with immediate family only. If parents have separated, it is important that they only hold this ceremony together if they can get along, otherwise it may have a negative impact on the children. This ceremony is not appropriate for parents still resolving issues of domestic violence or attached to behaviours that undermine a co-parenting relationship.
What happens in a parenting commitment ceremony? The celebrant outlines the values and agreements the parents have made about parenting. Affirmations are made to each other (if more than one parent or parenting adult is present) to treat each other with respect and value their input and role as a parent. Affirmations are made to the children that they are loved and valued and that the parent is committed to parenting them to the best of their abilities. Symbols of this new commitment to parenting with each parent and with the children may be exchanged - jewellery or letters to each other or an artwork or something significant to all the family. A candle ceremony is a beautiful way too of symbolising the light and promise that each person brings to the parenting relationship with the children. Appointment of mentors to support the parent(s) - able to be neutral in any disagreements that may arise from time to time. Their role is to support that parent only, not to act as a go-between but equally trying to preserve a positive attitude to the other parent or parents and the parenting relationship. In a ceremony not connected with a separation, many of these elements still apply.	Our children are more important than our differences ...
Making your parenting commitment work Parents may wish to avail themselves of relationship counselling with an organisation like Relationships Australia, or mediation, and educate themselves about child support agreements, parenting agreements and financial agreements (as opposed to arrangements imposed upon them by courts and government departments), so that they can better uphold the Parenting Commitment they make in this ceremony.
Resources for separated parents Links to resources for separated parents Links to fatherhood resources