Using ritual in your ceremony

Ritual is a term used to describe a ceremonial act. It is accompanied by words spoken by me or by you. Examples of rituals include a wine ceremony, sand ceremony, handfasting, candle lighting, tree planting, water ceremony.

The use of rituals and participation by guests can add to the intention and purpose of your ceremony - for example, a candle ceremony to unite both of you and give light to your renewed relationship. For health purposes, I recommend using beeswax candles as these are made from natural substances and are not petroleum based. A lot of candles around give off toxic fumes - you may not wish to introduce a toxic element into your marriage.

You do not have to include rituals. It is your choice always. Some people choose to release birds or butterflies or balloons in their ceremonies - but be sure you are aware of the environmental and animal rights issues before you do this.

Readings, music and poetry

Many people add readings or poetry to the ceremony - such pieces can add a special touch to the ceremony. Family or friends may wish to read these instead of the celebrant. It is important to acknowledge the authors at this time. Or you may wish to write a love letter to each other and read it during the ceremony. It need not be long and is very moving to listen to - good for ultra romantic ceremonies! Click here for some links to websites with readings and poetry.

Music is an important part of your ceremony as well and is a chance to really individualise your ceremony.

You may like to have live music - a string quartet or harpist - or for something a wee bit wild, a troupe of drummers or a piper. If family or friends are musicians, it is a great personal touch to have them perform during your ceremony.

Recorded music may be played for the ceremony too. It is worthwhile enlisting the support of that family member or friend who is a sound and music guru (if the venue does not have a sound system), otherwise amplification of the music may be a problem and the songs won't have the same impact as if played at a suitable volume. Many portable CD players do not have the ooomph needed for outdoor ceremonies.

Thou & I, Sweet friend! can look from our tranquility Like lamps into the world's tempestuous night...
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Vows and Ring Vows

If you know the vows you were married with, you may like to use these again if they are meaningful to you. Or, as you have grown and changed as a couple, you may consider new vows that reflect the growth and maturity of your relationship. In your vows, you will reaffirm that you are lawful husband and wife (rather than taking each other as wife and husband). You may wish to exchange new rings or other gifts at this time and this may be accompanied by vows as well, for example, "Take this ring as a symbol of my continuing love for you...".

Personal history

In your Renewal of Vows ceremony, you will probably include personal history and significant events in your relationship - it helps your guests to relate to your ceremony by adding those personal details. You may choose a venue that is particularly significant to you - this may be your home or it may be where you honeymooned the first time or where you have spent your holidays for much of your married life. The aim here is to affirm the great things in your relationship, and invite more good things into your life.

Traditions and symbolism

There are many subtle ways you can add meaning and energy to your Renewal of Vows ceremony and your continuing marriage - the use of colour, the flowers you choose, the gems in the gifts you choose to exchange, the use of essential oils or flower essences, the day of the week you marry on, the time of day and the astrological profile for your ceremony. You may like to follow the traditions you used in your wedding ceremony - the same flowers or colours of your wedding party. Click here for some links to websites explaining symbols and traditions.

Themes

You can choose a theme for your renewal of vows ceremony and celebration - medieval, fancy dress, a colour, floral, an era (perhaps the era when you originally married) or a theme related to your cultural background or your passions in life. Or you may want to ensure that your celebration is "green", that is, that it is environmentally-friendly! This can take some more effort on your part, for example, organising a bus to bring the guests to your ceremony instead of everyone driving, ensuring that your invitation stationery uses recycled paper and that organic food is served at your celebration.